Disposable Income Douche

Well folks, the Douche in DC crew got a case of the Mondays yesterday, and the post we set up didn't quite execute. Stay tuned, we'll double up one day shortly. But hey, enough of that.

We have been inspired by a submission of a douche caught driving into DC this morning, which brings us to a rather DC-specific douche phenomenon: the disposable income douche.

Found in very few places (New York is another great example), the DC Disposable Income douche can afford to spend his money in the douchiest ways imaginable. Buying rounds of shots for girls who are clearly uninterested, paying a cab driver horrendous amounts of cash to take their date home, or custom tailored, overpriced suits, the over-payed DC Douche throws money around, often times in the faces of the over-worked, underpaid Hill staffers. There are few things douchier than going to a bar selling $2 Drafts and $4 quesadillas and ordering top-shelf liquors. Though throwing their money around in front of females is clearly douchy, at least the money is well spent on the less-"fortunate", and is therefore removed from the cycle of poor, douchy decisions.

Perhaps the douchiest move of all is when these Douches, in their mid to late twenties, spend the money on frivolous boy things such as X boxes or elaborate porn. Wasting money on online poker, bizarre signed Super Bowl replicas, the newest and broadest selection of Ipods, or the trendiest golf clubs, there are so many things the disposable income douche can foolishly spend his money on. Whether you obtained your excessive amounts of money from Half-Life/Counterstrike tournaments or from a lucrative job on K street, there is certainly no fear of this disposable income going to a worthy cause (unless you consider purchasing baseball season tickets to be a noble act).

Previously, DoucheinDC has shown the typical garb of a DC Douche, and don't you worry, plenty of that disposable income goes into keeping up the look.


For example, these delightful, manly pink Crab pants cost a mere $115.00. Looking douchy doesn't come cheap! Throw in the $85.00 polo and the overpriced hair products and you can see why the Douche needs to be single at thirty, making boatloads of money, and has very little to show for it. In case the Crab pants don't earn enough respect for the DC Douche when worn in close interactions, there are things that the douche can purchase that allows everyone around them to know that they are, indeed, the balls.





If a two-seater, convertible Porsche isn't a douchy enough car, this DC Douche (spotted commuting to work in the District), thought that they either made enough money to waste it on something so ridiculous as personalized license plates, or truly felt that strangers should know they are some sort of sorcerer. Maybe he thinks that his vehicle will make women instantly fall victim to his own brand of witchcraft? Maybe he is convinced he has his own super powers? Either way, making such a bold assertion in the form of molded steel is one of the douchiest ways for a DC Douche to spend their money. Watch out, ladies, don't catch his spell. As our mothers always said, some people have "More Money than Sense". Too bad you can't use some of your disposable income to buy some common sense (or fashion sense for that matter). But let's face it, if you could use money to buy sense, a DC douche would likely choose not to.


Be sure to submit DC Douche Sightings to dcdouchesightings@gmail.com, and perhaps your DC Douche will become the inspiration for our next post!