Media Whores

Although we at Douche in DC generally like to avoid over-politicizing things, this week it was just too much. With the rampant amount of insane people grabbing for media attention, we have to talk about how douchy it is to be pretend to get carved in the face girl.

There are several things wrong with this entire scenario. First of all, get your story straight. Seems easy enough. I mean how many bank heist movies have you seen? You always have to pick a story and stick with it. Also, if you're going to carve your effing face and pretend you were attacked, let's go ahead and take the mirror into account and NOT CARVE IT BACKWARDS. Face carving 101. Finally, and perhaps the most douchy of all the continuously emerging details... the girl TWITTERED as it happened. TWITTERED, PEOPLE.

Admittedly, we don't particularly know what a Twitter is, nor do we care to learn, but we do gather that it's a douchy way of telling people what you're doing at all times, whether they care to know or not. Sadly, the rush of attention paid to twitterers (twitterees?) was not enough for ol' Ashley Todd.

Onto other things consuming the media in DC this week. Think that your boss is a douchebag?
Think again!

Oooh Tim Mahoney, will you never learn? Having an affair and paying to keep it on the hush may be old news, but being a big dick about it won't earn you any favors from the soon-to-be-former-mistresses. Among other things, Mahoney was accused of...

"a) Calling Allen late in the evenings and demanding "phone sex;"

b) Demanding that Allen answer his calls or face termination;

c) Demanding that Allen attend fundraisers and "tease c-ck" to bring in more donations from the male members of the public;

d) Demanding that Allen engage in sexual conduct with another woman for his enjoyment."

Maybe our bosses likes things a certain way, but at the end of the day, none of us has had to act as a cock-tease for donations. As if political money wasn't dirty enough.

However, we're sure ol' Tim Mahoney has one thing in common with a certain special lady across the aisle...

We're willing to bet that Tom Mahoney and Michele Bachmann are both grateful that someone (aka Ashley Todd) came out and stole the media spotlight from them.

We're also willing to bet that there will be more October surprises filled to the brim with douchebaggery. So until next time...