Live Blogging- Obamadomination

So, we at Douche in DC decided to do a bit of blogging tonight, considering there is nothing on tv. Not even baseball. Baseball is ALWAYS on, whether you like it or not. Not to be completely partisan, but MAN, this is an unprecedented way of douching up a Hump Day. Some of us want to escape this election, how about that? We'll vote for the first person to leave us the hell alone!

Oh well, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade, so regardless of how we feel about candidates, they are both worthy of mockery. If you suck up all the tv time, you're just asking for it. So here we go, first ever liveblog, for as long as we can stand to sip on the Kool-Aid.


- First impressions count, Barack, and my first impression is that I don't feel too bad for the soccer mom pumping gas into her SUV. That car is HUGE. I picture her saying "But Barack, how do I get my kids to the Baby Gap? Save us!"

- You also can't open with "Everything we have done for as long as we remember has sucked some major ass..." and then follow up with one of your good ideas and say "Just like after 9/11!" That's right, that sunny side of our nation's history.


- "Barack Obama has Kansas roots".... no, Governor Sebelius, knowing you doesn't count.

- WOAH, just had a heart attack. He said "We'll go through the national budget, line-by-line" and I gasped thinking "TONIGHT?!" Woah, nope. Just a half an hour, right? Phew. Almost half way. We want more montages of children with flags & waving wheat.

- Tim Kaine, are you checking us out?

- PS, is this a "Bum you out" contest? Everyone is retired/ ripped off/ widowed/ HAS TO WORK AT WAL-MART!? We're so sad we almost want Tim Kaine to check us out.

- waait, this sit down and talk about school part is a re-run. boo. Totally used in an ad "Buster".

- Plus side... Joe Biden's plugs are lookin' good today.

- Biden has never forgotten where he came from... a swing state!!!!! Wink wink, nudge nudge, Jim Halpert and everyone else who votes in Scranton.

- That guy should get takes breaks. When he was a baby, he got tied to a ford. Also, is that Ford employees phone banking for freedom?

- "We've seen harder times before". My, Mr. President, that's what she said!

- Why does he want to rebuild the military? Isn't it on steroids already? Isn't that the one thing we have going?

- "Dear old lady in Iowa, sorry about your son being in the Army. Let's hug it out bitch".

- Still just a half hour, right? Just had to check.

- Barack has the voice thing going for him. Although, it's not hard to beat McCain. He sounds like the Gopher from Winnie the Pooh.

- Maybe one day I will get famous through destitution. Note to self, add to list of accomplishments. Be a "Woman in DC who can't even afford to fill her SUV and drive to the baby gap"

- cue music.

- Damn it. We definitely didn't think ahead on this one. Should have played a drinking game... FAIL.

Well that definitely wasn't as painful as we anticipated. Oh well, 6 more days kids, 6 more days.